My Reflection in Philosophy (What I learn)

NOTE: This is a paper work that I passed last semester in our Philosophy subject. I posted it here to let you know about my thoughts and learnings for this subject.
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As I was walking through the ropes of
hopelessness, the thorns of suffering and the whips of agony, I thought I would falter in just a minute. Seeing the uncertainties, I thought my life has lost its meaning. I was so frustrated with the myriads of questions left unanswered and I was feeling nauseated with all these chaos fluterring through my bloodstream. I'm now seeing life as more on following what has been customary for the sake of being good and just all. I belittled myself for being a worthless individual, being left out with no choice but to follow what I saw as a cycle of just humans. I realized that this life is boring and I couldn’t find its color anymore.

And just when I was about to relinquish my cloaked ideologies and all, there came a thought that there is still a way that I can express it and I could be able to establish what has been a mistake throughout my system. Something showed to me that I can somehow behold what I see as a fulfilling and meaningful life without the need of other people’s opinions or viewpoints and it opened my eyes to allow me see the reality. I have just unraveled the most important thing of being a voyager and that was when I took the Philosophy course this semester.

To start with, I was engrossed by how the word Philosophy has been defined. Philosophy, from its etymological meaning love of wisdom, was also introduced as the way of a meaningful life. It is not just about talking about your principles but it also talks about how you can develop your inner self in the society. At first, I was a little bit confused of what this subject trying to instill us because it is really out of touch with the reality but as the lesson went on, I was able to relate with it.

The purpose of philosophy doesn’t just limit to few but I would say it served a lot of things as we get through the stages of our lives. It enables us to comprehend ourselves deeper, to have a clear vision of what others have been thinking, to all matters that concern us and most especially about God in all of its aspects. All of this, Philosophy has the only capacity to give us the broader horizon of understanding and enables to encounter the diverse views because as what our dear philosophy teacher said that ‘the more you live, the more you love and that the more you love is the more you grow’.

Philosophy has caused me so much enthusiasm because I was able to know everything about myself and to note man's nature. This helped me to fortify my critical thinking and self direction. Truly I realized that you can’t expect people to agree for what you believe in because he has his own thoughts and opinions. Like all the philosophers, I understand that they have their own viewpoints how they see the world. If not with them, how can we establish or even notice what’s going on in our society? I wager that this is the time that we should apply our golden minds to awaken others who are still daydreaming of a utopian society that will never come.

As for religion, philosophy proved me right that religions are made to love one another and its purpose is to spread what God wants us to do and that is to do good and sincere things to humankind. It is not through violence to the extent of killing other people for the sake of God.

This discipline is trying to tell us things that concern most youths today and it's all about love and sex. Philosophy emphasizes the difference of love in an erotic and in an agapeic way. I understand that we, as human beings love not just to a person but it could be to an animal, an object, or an event. I just can’t simply define love because love can be seen more than its emotional feeling. Furthermore, love sustains human relationship with dignity and in depth as catalyst for change, development and achievement. Love is not just about physical attractiveness. It is a gift, an act of healing and growth. As I understood of sex from the discussion last meeting, it is not just a union of two bodies, but also a union of two hearts, of two minds and of two persons. I hope all the people get this thing right into their minds so as not to abuse the word love with sex for pleasure.

Everyday, when we wake up first thing in the morning there’s already a challenge being laid upon us. We just can’t say it will be another boring or a lousy day to go to school or to work because it is in our hands how we handle things differently with compassion. Love, as they say, is the driving force towards an object to unite with people. To harmonize the atmosphere, I learned that we can have this through meditation and as we all know, our spiritual beliefs can help us meditate by clearing up our minds and have a sense of virtue. We should understand and appreciate abstract concepts like beauty, justice, and love.

 It is essential for us people to have our own philosophies in life because it teaches us how to live life in our own way. In dealing with other people, we should not fall easily to the lies of others. We should think and rationalize.

As a student, philosophy helped me to mold my naïve mind to a matured one because we can not deny the fact that we are getting older and human as we are, we change our perspectives time to time.
I really thank Mr. David Toring for his undying dedication to instill knowledge to us students to assess ourselves deeper . We never had any boring meetings with him because he made the subject philosophy an easier yet a fun one to study. May God bless you sir for your strong will to teach a multitude of students. More power!

I don't feel like 18 years old!!

Oh yes! I celebrated my 18th birthday yesterday and I was so happy to see my family with my relatives singing me the birthday song joyfully. To think it's my debut this year, I was not expecting for a lavish party because I know we don't have the bucks to spend but yesterday, it was an unexpected one to have many foods on the table especially the cakes (given by uncle Victor and aunt Elsie and the other that mom bought for me) and the ice cream!

For me, it was a nice to see myself so happy as I celebrated my day with my family. I'm contented to what they gave to me and as for my age, I don't feel like being 18, moreover I feel like 16 still. I don't want to get old, I just want to stay on my youth. I thank God for letting me live for 18 years. It's an accomplishment already! Thanks mom and dad for the celebration last night and thanks uncle Victor for the cake and for the present. I really like it!

Having MUMPS during EXAM..

I brought mumps at the resto

Yesterday, I had a hard time answering my exam in Physiology because of my mumps. I was lost in mind and all that I've studied last night flushed out. I also got a fever that's why I rushed to answer all the items in the exam without reviewing it. I was so helpless!

As I'm writing this, the inflammation on my parotid gland got worse. When I eat something, it hurts. I even cried yesterday because of the pain it brought to me. I was also advised to take out my retainers for a while and eat porridge to prevent pain.

Having mumps during exam is not good. I think you'll be advised to take a rest and take special exams later but for my case, I didn't tell anyone about it until my friend noticed the swelling. As I've searched in the internet the only medication that we can have is the ice treatment. Also elders recommended ANIEL soaked with vinegar to be applied on the swelled portion.

Everyday is a QUIZ day...

Right now, I feel like being squeezed out from the pressures given by our professors. I'm almost freaking out!

Yeah, college really lifts you to a new scale and being a pre-medical student is not a joke. I feel like mountain climbing. I have to give my all to reach the top. Whew!

Well,what made me write this thing here is that college is like joining an AMAZING RACE. You have to be cunning, swift, wise and everything that attributes to being a survivor without thinking of giving up. Since everyday is a quiz day I have to be prepared and be equipped to those unannounced quizzes.

But then it turns out that everyday is a nerve-wracking quiz day because all of my subjects are clashing and I can't manage to do studying all these subjects at once. Help!

Today, I have to finish all my homeworks, study for Anatomy, Public Health, Economics, Speech Comm, Chemistry and Physiology for a quiz tomorrow. How does it sound like? LOL

For me, everyday turns out to be a challenge. Having taken another step up the ladder is a fulfillment thinking you're doing it for yourself, for your family and for pleasing God to have given you everything you need in times of difficulties. All I need is motivation right now and i hope that God will help me to keep on going without falling. Happy Sunday Everyone!

I'm in love with a weirdo (One-shot Love Story)

NOTE: Hi guys, this is the story that I've made last year. Although this is a product of my imagination but I do think it happens in real life (I hope so).  Spare me for my English and I hope you enjoy my one-shot! ♥Cindy

My one shot story inspired from

Namida Usagi

I was in second year high school then.

When we were heading towards our classroom, I heard again the teasing of my classmates.

"Hey, Heidi. Here’s your soul mate again. Ayeee!"

I was trying not to be affected by them.  I didn’t know the person anyway. For me, the teasing was all for fun but I realized that they were now too much. I could see the guy noticed it already.

"Will you stop it guys? It’s embarrassing already."

Well, I really don’t know when it all started. It’s just that this week, I’m always teased to this guy. Sometimes, I realized that just because I don’t have a boyfriend, they thought it would be fun if they will tease me with a guy who is as weird as me. Yes, I consider myself a weird person but I’m not as weird as him. What made him weird is that he was always around like he doesn't have classes to attend to. We always saw him sitting on the bench waiting for someone, looking at other people passing by. 

One day, I was really in a hurry to catch for my first class. Our teacher would be giving us a test. I know I
was late so I rushed to the stairs when suddenly someone bumped me.

I was red in fury when my books were on the staircase. I immediately reached for my books when my eyes opened wider and found out the one who ran unto me. What a fate! It’s the weird guy. I quickly took my books when he reached the other book for me.

"S-S-sorry miss! A-are you hurt? I'm so sorry." He asked, very tensed.

I didn’t know what to say at that moment. The teacher must have started the test so without wasting my time, I just nodded to him saying it’s all right and rushed to my class. I entered the classroom answering the remaining items our teacher dictated to us and well, I completely lost my mind thinking of that weird guy who bumped to me a while ago. 

I usually go home alone but before I go out from the gates of the school, I never forget to go to the wide and beautiful garden to get fresh air. As I was unwinding myself, it was first time of me to hear a sound of a violin, it was well-played and was pleasing to my ears. It was somewhat leading me to a place where I want to go. I listened to it for a while, feeling it when it suddenly stopped. There my curiosity grew to who was playing the violin and I went nearer to found out that....... the weird guy was the one playing the violin!

As I watched him every other day, I thought he was not a weirdo at all. He was a talented guy. One day, I was listening to him without noticing me when my cough aroused. He heard it and I was left with no choice but to show up and come up with an excuse of asking him where the campus ministry is.

He was not surprised when he saw me and he just replied.

"There  ...” his hands were leading at the north.

My mind ran out of words after being caught and I just simply said,

"Thanks. Just continue what you’re doing. It’s beautiful! ", and I rushed then pretending to go to the campus ministry.

What happened in the garden was just the start of our friendship and I never realized that I got close to him since we always see each other in the library. It happened when we are on the same table and he saw me having difficulties in solving a math problem. Without hesitation, he offered to answer the math problem in which I was surprised to accept it.

Takahiro Narumi as Kei

When he was teaching me, I realized that the guy beside me is the weird guy my classmates are teasing. He was just misunderstood. The thought of him as a weird guy was gone. I found him cute at all because he has tantalizing eyes, physique built and a cute smile. Rarely do I get to know a person with a baritone voice too.

His name is Kei, a 3rd year student. He is a top student placing in the fourth spot. You couldn’t see him as a son of a well-known businessman because despite of the luxury that he has, he is a simple guy. He's also humble with his achievements.

Well ,we usually meet in the garden where he plays his violin. I kept our meetings a secret from my friends because I don’t want to be an everyone’s jest but each day, meeting with Kei was an excitement. I understand him now and I seem to be comfortable with him talking things the two of us can only understand. That’s when I knew I was the one he’s really waiting for when he’s on the bench because he noticed that my classmates were teasing me to him. I can’t believe he knew that. 

I considered him as my older brother but as days and nights passed, my eerie feeling towards him started to develop. It all began when he uttered those words:  "You know, you’re beautiful when you smile, it makes me happy.", and as he was saying me this he put a rose on my ear.

I blushed for a while. What does Kei trying to say? Those words served to be a bell for me. Sometimes it made me smile to think that he’s happy when I’m with him. He is not a weird guy anymore. I’ve noticed that as we meet each day, I could see a lot of changes in him. He is more attractive each day. 

The day of September 1 was really a revelation for me when he said something that answered all my questions. I was surprised when he finally took courage to say what he felt for me and as he expressed it, I couldn’t find the words to say, trying to resist the tension. I wanted to say what I also felt for him but then, I chose what is right. 

"Kei, you know this is not right. I treated you as my brother and we should not be more than that.", I said.

It was hard for me to conceal my feelings towards him. I still couldn’t believe him telling me those words I so long to hear. He told me that he learned to trust himself because of me and that I was the only one who accepted his weaknesses. If only I’ll accept his love.

"Just give me some time to think Kei. Not now.“ , was the only thing that I said.  He looked at me if there’s a chance but I didn’t look at him in the eye. So Kei left with no choice.

"Well, I’ll respect your decision. See you next day, Heidi. ", then he kissed me on the cheek and  walked away. I was not in my senses at that time.

The night seemed to be peaceful while I’m in a troubled mind. Did Kei confess his feelings already? I struggled to tell myself that what he'd said was not true. I have feelings for him too but I promised to my parents not to enter relatonships while I’m studying. I really cried the entire night for it was difficult for me, difficult than any math problems could ever unravel but then I came up with a decision……………

Well, I find myself as a college student right now and the memories that I had with Kei will never fade because we built good memories together. Kei and I chose to separate ways not to end up our friendship but to make our future. Kei gave me inspiration to strive hard and reach for my dreams.  He didn’t leave me despite of my decision and instead he cares more for me than my girl friends do. We still have communication and we talk things under the sun. What happened that first day of September was a memorable one for it was a test of friendship between the two of us. I realized that love is patient, it always hopes, always perseveres and it never fails. It doesn't hurry. So I closed my eyes for a minute and I laughed at the thought that l will never forget having my best friend as your first love. THE END

BERDE (play): STORY ANALYSIS

NOTE: Hello, this is the story analysis about the play that I've watched. It's entitled 'Berde'. To know about the play, I think the details below can explain all about it. It is for reference purposes only.

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1. The characters involved in the play

*Edwin Ocampo – is the main character of the story. He is a homosexual who has been in a relationship with a man named Butch for already eight months. The only child of the couple and is being pampered by her mother while his father was working. Despite of his mother's acceptance on his identity, his father didn’t accept him as who he is. 

*Butch – is the boyfriend of Edwin. Since their first meeting in which Edwin had brought him up to his room he started to have mutual feeli
ngs with him. A gentle man who didn’t care what might others say about the relationship between him and Edwin. 

*Charo Ocampo – a supportive mother and a loyal wife. She was the one who accepted her son’s true self despite of his husband’s disbelief that their son is not a man. She pampered his son since young and gave Edwin anything that satisfies him. Though she know that her husband is having an affair with another woman, she’s still loyal with her husband.

*Arman Ocampo – is the cold and oppressive father of Edwin. His plan of having his son follow his steps in the military platform dissipated after he knew that his son is acting strangely, for short, gay. Disappointed, he looked at his son’s gender difference as a disease and tries to consult it to a psychiatrist to undergo treatment. He eventually died due to heart attack after he had an argument with his son.

*Psychiatrist – the one the couple approached to, to let their son Edwin check about his condition. 

2. The values that are being highlighted in the story are the respect of one’s dignity, close-family ties of a family, the importance of hdom to express one’s love to his own kind.

3. The moral issues that deviates the teachings of the church are that God only made man and a woman and that man and woman can only be united in the sacrilege of marriage.

4. As a student I can help reduce gender discrimination by treating gays and lesbians equal in rights and dignity. Equity in responsibility for household chores would be a start, so that women who work outside aren't  responsible for the vast majority of the housework. A reduction in the number of assumptions that society makes would be good, too - so that fathers are called to pick up sick children from school and mothers are asked to coach sports teams. This would provide a model of equity to everyone involved and would help shape attitudes, leading to a more fundamentally equitable society.

5. Our discussions are somehow related to the play in a sense that the play shows how love conquers all. It crosses no bars and is prevailing. It was first time of me to witness an unusual love between two men. Furthermore, the previous stories we’ve read shows how love brings you to do unreasonable and criminal acts like what Edwin did when he threatened his mother to shot the gun to his head after the mother had refused to give a bigger sum of money just to run away with his man. I was able to relate in this one because it shows a strong conviction that what the characters were doing were right and that they didn’t break any law to be ill-treated or even excluded from the community.

6. Gender discrimination is a kind of act in which individuals of different views are not treated equal and are deprived from the society to express their feelings. While females have historically laid claim to the cry of unequal treatment, modern civil rights laws banning sex discrimination have been construed to protect males as well, especially in the area of employment.

Gender bullying, on the other hand, is any bullying behavior, whether physical or non-physical, that is based on a person's sexuality or gender. It is when sexuality is used as a weapon by boys or by girls.

Gender discrimination is rampant because the Philippines was ranked 12 out of 86 in the 2012 Social Institutions and Gender Index. The country was ranked 7 out of 102 in the 2009 Social Institutions and Gender Index. The 2011 Human Development Index (HDI) score for the country is 0.644, placing it in 112th place (out of 187 countries). The Gender Inequality Index score is 0.427. The Philippines' Global Gender Gap Index rating for 2011 is 0.7685, placing it 8th place (out of a total of 135 countries).

7. The reasons for the proliferation of hate crime are sometimes hate crimes are rigged when a person has no understanding of a race or religion, or something else, grows to be scared of that something. Later on, scare turns into hatred. It is when they are rigged when a person is often bullied and cannot stand it anymore, and their hatred has gotten to the extreme rate. And they fell like the whole world's against them.

8. The laws and bills that are pf other genders in our society are as follows: 

The most important law covering gender discrimination on the job is the Civil Rights Act of 1964—specifically, Title VII of that act, which strictly prohibits all forms of discrimination on the basis of race, color, religion, sex, or national origin in all aspects of employment. 

• An employee who alleges that his or her manager only promotes male employees and keeps females in entry-level positions.
• An employee who alleges that a manager or other person in power tells jokes or makes statements that are demeaning, insulting, or offensive to women.

• A manager who makes it clear, either through his actions or words, that he wants to have sexual relations with a female employee.

• A manager who asks inappropriate and unnecessary questions about a female employee's sex life.

• A manager who touches his female employees in inappropriate ways without consent.

Equal Pay Act officially gives everyone protection under the law in regards to equal pay for equal work, but inequities still exist in almost every employment sector. 

9. In every problem there's a solution, so the following are mediums to reduce and further eliminate gender discrimination:

We could start by:

• Recognizing that international cooperation between Member States and relevant intergovernmental and non-governmental organizations is essential for effectively solving the problem of gender inequality. Convinced of the need to protect and assist all victims of sexual abuse due to lack of inequality, with full respectful of human's rights,

• Encouraging the governement to take appropriate measures to raise public awareness of the issue to discourage gender inequality around the world;

• Recommending that Violence against women should be addressed and recognized and get state support: access to medical assistance and psychological support

10. I believe that people form prejudices of others because based on my perspective, it is due to a combination of factors including both personal and political matter. On the personal side, one major factor is probably fear of the unknown (personal sense of security). It does bring a feeling of comfort, even if on a superficial level, if you are around people similar to yourself (at least from outside appearance) - suppose this is human nature in a way.

Stereotypical, prejudice, and discrimination will not be stopped if we stand by and choose not to take action. If everyone would start listening to each other to understand, and speak to be understood, maybe we could create a society founded in acceptance,peace and love instead of bigotry, hate and destruction. There is no doubt our world would be a safer place.

11. For me, if I would be the witness to an incident that resulted in the harms of others, I will surely stand for what is right. I will not turn back nor surrender in fighting. I will stop it as soon as possible and I will tell them that what they are doing is not right. It can't solve their problem because what good would it be to bring or commit such violences to other people? 

12. We, the youth of our generation can promote justice and tolerance in our community by promoting respect for human life first and foremost, by setting an example with their own beliefs and actions. We can raise awareness of the plight of the poor in your home country and world wide. Speaking out against Human Rights abuses. Defending the defenseless and reporting any abuses you see in your personal life, including reporting child or elder abuse , and domestic abuse in your community. See if your can organize your classmates to adopt an orphange or an organization like Doctors without Borders, or a faith-based group like Feed the Children. There is a bottomless well of need in the world for those who wish to help

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Electronic resources:

http://illustriousjosh.blogspot.com/2012/08/berde-hindi-lang-pula-ang-kulay-ng-pag.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_rights_in_the_Philippines

http://dmc122011.delmar.edu/socsci/rlong/race/far-03.htm

http://www.cliffsnotes.com/study_guide/Prejudice-andDiscrimination.topicArticleId-26957,articleId-26886.html

http://www.ehow.com/list_7499672_solutions-gender-discrimination.html

http://www.expertlaw.com/library/employment/sexual_discrimination.html

Reaction Paper about the article Cut Down Edible Waste

It has been customary to us Filipinos that whenever we have special occasions or gatherings, we should prepare something for it and the thought of food is the top priority for most of us.

Foods are the highlight of the celebration and the more food you put on your table, the more people go rush in to your house. Well, things can go as planned but one thing that brings menace after the festive and lavish party is the tons of dishes to be washed and the one that we didn’t notice, the horror of looking at the leftovers in our trash bins.

The idea of trashing out food from one’s dish is a painstaking to think about, much more to those dishes whose foods were not yet touched. You just can’t throw it away but you need to or it’ll get spoiled right away. 

I agree that billion tons of food is wasted annually. It is a ‘no doubt’ fact since restaurants are growing over the metro and even households do these things without knowing its effects in our environment and even in our money. 

As I’ve read the article, I understand that instead of wasting food, why not have some ways on how to reduce it, to be concerned in our environment?

I realized that there are so many ways to reduce food wastes. Throwing it all away is not the solution. In order to have an eco-friendly environment, I have come up some ideas on how to reduce it.

We should be more conscious about its shelf-life, storage temperature and its availability so as to remind ourselves that we should consume it earlier before it spoils. I agree that we should consider the number of people to be accommodated so that we can easily estimate how much food we are going to prepare.

Well, some tips in the article told me that I’m not that negligent when it comes to disposing food wastes because my family and I observe it too. After having dinner, we collect the food scraps and we give it to our pets. Sometimes when we have leftovers, my mother used to be a creative cook when she turns the food into another one by adding seasonings to make the food more flavorful.

To know that tons of food wastes were dumped in landfills is to know that billions of people suffer from hunger. This issue should teach us a lesson that we must not waste food. Since most of us can’t help having some leftovers from the parties, why let some of our less fortunate neighbors to come by your house and share to them your blessings? It would be more fulfilling and the party would be more meaningful since you build a good relationship to your neighbors.

The bottom line of this article is this: always remember the 3 Rs which are to Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle. For me they are certainly applicable to food wastes since you have an option to reduce it as well as make something out of it. We all have creative minds and I’m confident that we can do something about it. Above all, we should be thankful that until now we still have something to eat and we should put in to our minds that we eat anything on our table to eliminate food waste.

from Bato Balani Magazine "CUT DOWN EDIBLE WASTE"

Love knows no boundaries (One-shot)

I got this pictures of Fujioka Haruhi and Suou Tamaki
In Ouran Host Club

Spoiler: What will happen if Ret Geum, the heartthrob tennis player will suddenly find an interest to the boyish but breathtakingly beautiful volleyball player Henna Lee? Will the 'guy-like' Henna take Ret's hidden feelings towards her? Check it out!

PS. It would be best if you listen to the song (found below) before reading it. and btw, I thank sweet Nate for giving me an inspiration, you're the one!! Thanks guys for reading!!

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It was early in the morning when Henna entered the classroom… she couldn’t take her friends’ jokes anymore.

‘These guys are too much.’ she thought.

Seeing that pink letter again on her arm chair, there was this uneasiness she felt for the tenth time. When she took it, it was the same handwriting from the earlier ones.

Now, she’s so sure that her boyish friends were the ones doing it so she approached them. With the note clasped on her hand, she sighed.

“Guys, I know you were the ones doing this. So tell me, what is this all about? A guessing game or what?”,

Henna expected them to admit it but, they shook their heads. No one dared to speak.

“Why so silent? If it’s not you, then who? Tell me.”, she pleaded.

Her boyish friends looked up at her, for a while they were a bit reluctant but they thought it’s about time. They should tell her. So Alexa, also called Alex, decided to reveal it.

“Alright Henna, you really wanna know? You’ll be surprised but it’s from...”,

“Please, go ahead. Tell me!”, Henna was irritated by the hanging revelation. She was feeling nervous when her friends got serious.

May, also called Max took a deep breath, “Ok, just chill dude. We’ll tell you. So, will you believe if we say… it is the tennis prince, Ret Geum sent you those?”

Upon hearing the name of the sender, her world suddenly stopped. What? Ret Geum? Are they kidding? That’s unbelievable! Why, Ret can’t do this to her, not if he has his girlfriend and not if Ret and she were friends.

She thought this was all but a joke so she looked at her other tomboy friends with disbelief. Her friends sensed her confusion and her other friend Jane alias Jason, felt the need to explain it.

“I know you can’t suspect Ret sending you letters, but dude, haven’t you noticed him these days. He’s always approaching you. He’s always in our practice when he has to attend for his own and we’ve noticed one thing…”, she broke. Henna was listening carefully,

“The way he looks at you, his eyes were full of admiration. Weee.”, then her friends started to tease her.

Henna found it disgusting and she was not convinced that Ret could do it her. When she looked at his armchair, it was empty. 

“But Ret is not yet here. How come?”

“Are you dumb, Henna? He should not be here if he doesn’t want to be suspected. We caught him dude. It was so early Ret came in and out of the room quickly and to our surprise, there’s the pink letter on your seat.”

Henna, partly believing what her friends were saying can’t speak of a word.

Ret Geum? The hot engineering student and the heartthrob tennis prince in this university will find an interest to a boyish volleyball player like Henna Park? That’s impossible!

Max interrupted her, “You know dude, just accept the fact that you’re not like us. You’re such a beauty, even your boyish look reveals you’re beautiful and that’s why girls go crazy and….. some boys as well.”, she said with a smile.

“Yeah, we even envy you. Your striking look leaves us out. So smart of Ret he’d noticed your hidden beauty.” Jason continued the teasing.

Henna wanted to ask more but their other classmates started to come in and the class was about to start. Henna went to her seat when she saw the attractive and the charming tennis player coming in and the girls greeted him. She met his eyes and without any word, Ret waved his hand, smiling. He was so friendly she couldn’t help but smile back at him. When she remembered what her friends told her, she sensed something from him. Could it really be him? She would find that out.

The class was over and Henna went out the classroom with her friends. Even though Ret was calling her, she pretended she didn’t hear him. Outside, she decided to part from them and she went to a bench far from the others.

When she was deep into her thoughts, tears gushed down her cheeks. When she read those pink letters, she felt strangeness within. Those letters expressed deep admiration to her.  With those words, so sweet and so kind, she’s certain someone who’s close to her would write it but she’d never suspected Ret.

She’s almost tired of this. This thing! It would be impossible to let everyone know she’s not what they’re thinking. Sometimes she felt she can’t follow his oppressive father anymore turning her as a son and dressing her up as a man after their mother had left them. She even gave up her dream to become a model. She can’t have mutual feelings with someone now that everyone sees her as a boy. If only she can escape…

“Hey, I know I can you find you here. Are you sick?”, said a familiar voice behind her.

Henna didn’t bother to turn her back. She knows his sweet perfume. The guy sat beside her. She quickly wiped her face and began to talk. 

“Ret, all of a sudden, you made a fool of me? How could you? You broke my trust.”

“I-I don’t understand you, Henna. What’s the problem?”,

“The problem? Here’s the problem…”, as she was saying this, she got all the pink letters from her bag.

Upon seeing all of those, Ret was not at all surprised, instead he smiled. “So, you think I was the one giving you these?”

“My friends caught you, Ret. So tell me, what are these letters for? A part of your research? An experiment? Or just a dare game with your friends?”

“And you think I can do that Henna?”,

“Why not, just because you’re famous you can have all the women you want, and as for a change, you want to try the likes of us.”

Henna was surprised by the words that slipped out from her mouth. Ret was appalled. He never thought Henna would think of such a thing.

“Nice try dude but that’s not true. Why, is it wrong to express deep admiration to you? I don’t think so.”

Henna can’t believe what this guy was saying. Did he know he’s expressing his feelings to a BOYISH girl like her? So all his gifts, his texts, and everything were a part of this? For a moment, she was speechless, she looked at Ret who owe her an explanation.

“Alright, I know this is absurd but I have a crush on you. I-It started during the sports fest when we’re on the same team. I don’t know what’s in you but you made me…….”

“How dare you say these words without your girlfriend knowing it?”

“We broke up last month.”

“And you think I’m your replacement?”,  

 “No, because I’m in love with you already!”,

Henna looked at him, shocked. Ret was catching his breath. His words stunned her. Why? Surely Ret would not break up his girlfriend just for her? That’s ridiculous!

“Are you out of your mind?”,

For a while, silence surrounded them. Both of them wanted to say something but the tension went up. Finally, Ret broke it.

“Perhaps you’re right. I’m so foolish I broke up with her because I’m in love with you. So foolish I know you could not love me back. You know, if I can fight this feeling just to resist you, I should have fought it but, I can’t.”

“Ret…..”

“Stop pretending, Henna. I know you feel it too.”

Henna didn’t expect this to happen. What did she do to drive this guy crazy? She laughed at the idea that a guy had a crush on a tomboy but it should not be her. Ret’s words resonated inside Henna’s body and she was as helpless when he got near her.

“Please give me a chance, Henna. I love you.”

His nearness made her breathless and she wanted to escape. His tender lips drew near hers as if to kiss her. A part of her wanted it. A chance? She doesn’t want to hear more lies from him until… she realized she should stop it. She pushed him away.

“I think we should stop all these nonsense, dude. So if you’ll excuse me, I have friends waiting for me. Sorry.”

And she walked away from him. Nonsense? Ret was left out like a jerk. He felt defeated from his game and was unable to defend it. Thinking he was a loser, he shouted out loud and made a fist against the wall. All of a sudden, Henna thought it’s just nonsense to her. What the heck! Why her? Why Henna Park? As far as he could remember, he never begged to someone for his love. Not certainly through silly letters! It was always the girls go after him and when he gets enough from them, it’s just easy to run away but Henna’s different. She’s a lesbian.

She’s always mistaken as a cute guy with her short hair, tall and lean body, the way she acts and to add that she’s good in volleyball. Even though Henna is a crush to some girls and a foe to some guys, for him she’s a gentle lady. Despite her tough identity that stuck out to the minds of everyone in school, her gentle personality shows. She’s even more feminine than all the girls he’d met. He loved her strong personality and he won’t care if she would stay that way.

If only he had not made friends with her from the start, he would not be able to see how cute she is when he teases her, when she laughs with his jokes and absolutely he will not find interest in her if not with her natural self and her ability to understand him. Maybe it would be best if they’ll just friends.

The graduation ball was just a day to go and Henna was not excited at all. She doesn’t like parties and even turned down some of the girls’ invitation to be their escort. Because of that, the girls got disappointed and diverted their plans to Ret.

There, she knew that the guy will be joining and that sad to say he has gotten his partner for the event.

“ I should have asked him earlier…hmp!”, regretted one of her classmates.

As Henna thought about Ret, she’s now comfortable they’re now the best of friends. What happened a year ago was resolved and both decided they will forget it as if nothing has happened. As time passed, they were close to each other. She even considered him as her confidante.

Henna was always in Ret’s tournaments as well as Ret in Henna’s volleyball games. She cheers a lot for her friend and she felt motivated everytime he cheers for her too. Henna found Ret a caring and a funny person. They even have bonding moments together and that made them know each other very well.

As she was thinking about this, Henna headed to the gym to practice. Her team mates were not yet there but to her surprise, Ret was sitting on the bleachers.

“Hey Ret! You’re here. No practice today?”, she asked.

“Nope, coach gave me a rest.”, Ret replied.

“But, what made you here? Do you need something?”

“Uhm..”

Ret was about to answer when she interrupted.

 “Aha! I know. You’re here to tell me about your lucky partner, right?”

Henna waited for his reply but she was puzzled when Ret smiled at her, that killer smile. Henna found herself blushed, what did she say again?

“So you think that girl is lucky, huh?”

“I guess so, dude. All the girls wanted you to be their partner and you really chose her.”

“Yeah, you’re right. She’s really special but I’m afraid she won’t come. Honestly, I came here for your help. Can you help me convince her? ”

Henna had a lump on her throat but she has to help her friend. She nodded.

“Count me in, buddy. I will help you convince her but, who is she anyway?”

Ret smiled more to her. She sensed that Ret had difficulty in telling her the girl but then…

“Just promise me, you’ll help me, ok?”

“Yes, I will.”

“So….. if I’m your friend…….”, he held her hand, “Can you be my partner for the event?”

Right after Ret said it, Henna felt like being choked. What? Did she just hear that this guy was picking her up as his partner? Was he insane? She snatched her hand from him.

“Pardon?”

“Well, I know this is ridiculous but you just promised me, right?”

“Yes, I just did but I was expecting you’ll pick someone who’s pretty, not me. So, you’re up to this again, huh? ”

Ret, feeling nervous still maintained his composure. He shook his head.

“Of course not, but can’t I pick my pretty friend for the ball?  If I’m your friend, then prove it. Prove our friendship by coming tomorrow.”

“Stop it, Ret. I can’t wear gowns and makeups. That will destroy my reputation.”

“I don’t care if you’ll wear tuxedo or anything there. Just be your best. I’ll give you something.”

“I’m not in the mood of playing games Ret. I’m not used to it.”

“This is all I ask from you, Henna. Common, it’s the graduation ball, we might part after this. Please.”, he begged.

Henna was hesitant at the moment,

“Ok. I’ll try……”

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The night of the graduation ball held at the university hall finally came and Ret was the only guy who stood out. He was so handsome in his black suit with his hair styled like Lee Min Ho’s. He was like a Hollywood star whose eyes were striking and his smile made all the girls scream. Their crush, as others would say. Some were dying to take him as their partner but he refused. Instead, he just let them take pictures with him but this did not make the worried Ret stop on thinking about Henna.

Ret waited for hours until unfortunately, it would be an hour to go before the dance will end. As he was standing at the stairs near the entrance, he realized Henna won’t come. Some of his friends went home already.

‘She broke her promise…..she didn’t care at all. I’m standing here like a fool.’he thought, disappointed.

He fought his tears as he headed back to his car when someone bumped on him, a lady. A careless lady.

“Whoa. Can you watch your steps, miss?“, he said but didn’t bother to look at her.

“Sorry… but is the event still going on? I’m very late, isn’t it?”, she was panting.

“You’re too late, Miss….”

And just when the lady looked up at him worriedly, his eyes opened wider…. at one moment, he felt an unexplanable happiness. He hadn’t seen such a beautiful lady during the night and she was just right in front of him. Seeing her as a breathtakingly beautiful woman made him hug her.

“H-henna….. is that you? I-I thought you won’t come.”, he said, stuttering.

Henna smiled to the poor boy and looked at him “And you think I’ll never come for my partner, huh? What’s that face? Do I look ridiculous with these?”, she was conscious.

“No.”,still hugging her tight, inhaling her fragrant smell. “Y-You look so stunning…I-I can’t believe I’m talking to a beautiful lady right now.”, Ret can’t find the words to say. Seeing Henna in her white dress, glamorous hairdo and a light make up made her the most beautiful girl in the event. It revealed her silky white skin and her sparkling eyes. She was so beautiful.

“I should look stunning because my best friend asked me, right?”, her smile was radiating.

“Y-You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. Don’t you know that? I even expected you to wear a suit but you surprised me.”, he joked.

Henna laughed at the thought, “Yes, I could have done that but, I have my reason….”

“What is it?”

Silence filled the air as their eyes met. Henna found it difficult to tell him something he should have known earlier. It was as if the world stopped just for him and her. ‘Now’s the time’, she thought. She has to tell him straightway.

“I hate to say this Ret, but seriously…. I’m falling in love with you too.”

Henna felt her legs weakened. She thought this a million times and she was so sure of it. No more confusion. Ret looked at her with amazement. He tried to fight his emotions.

“You know I never stopped loving you, Henna. I broke my promise. I just can’t help myself thinking of you all the time.”, he confessed.

“Really?”, she blushed as Ret’s hands caressed her waists. It feels so good.

And so without knowing, their bodies got close to each other. Henna found Ret very irresistable when she realized they were now kissing in a cold, gray night. It was a long and passionate kiss. It was the kiss of longing. Heat electrified through her body as she took part of it. It was wonderful. After that, they were breathless. Ret’s eyes never leave the eyes of his beautiful princess. She looked so lovely.

“Henna?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you close your eyes for a moment?”, he whispered.

Henna’s heart was pounding. What would Ret show her?

And Ret pulled something out from his finger. He held Henna’s gentle hands.

“Henna, I’m giving this ring as a sign of my love.”

As Henna saw the ring, she remembered how important it is for Ret. This is the ring his late mother had given to him. It was a shiny silver ring with a little white diamond at the center. It was really beautiful but she can’t take it.

“I can’t take this Ret, this is important to you.”,

She gave it back but he refused.

“No, take this with you, Henna. Yes, that’s important for me but I know you can take care of it. That’s how I trusted you.”

Ret slipped his ring to her finger. It fitted just right for her. It was sparkling bright on her delicate hands.

“Wow. I’ve never seen such a lovely ring on my hand. Thank you.”, and she hugged him.

Suddenly, she felt feminine. She never felt like this before until Ret started it. It made her realized she could feel what other women felt and one of it is to be in love.

She saw Ret’s sincerity from the beginning and that hated her for being selfish she didn’t give him a chance. It would be few days before the graduation comes and they might not see each other as they will seek their own fortune.

“I love you, Henna and I’m willing to wait if I should.”

The last words struck her. She didn’t expect Ret would be so different from what she’d thought about him. The truth is, she changed him.

 “Henna Park, mind if I take you to the dance?”, he offered his hand, wishing he could dance her.

In her heart, she’s going to show who she really is. She won’t care for anything and no one will ever stop her. Even her father. It would be the start of a new her.

“Why not?.”, she answered as she gave her hand to him. Feeling fearless.

It was a chilly night. Its coldness shivering as two persons found some warmth from each others arms. Even though all eyes were glued to Henna, she didn’t seem to mind them. What matters most is that they’ll come to accept her.

“I’ll be by your side, Henna. I promise……..”, was the most reassuring thing she had heard as he sweetly kissed her forehead. “I love you.” 

As time passed, things were getting better for him and her. It’s so strange someone had the nerve to tell things straight to her because if it wasn't for him, she’ll not come to realize what could be her lost. At the first place, she never thought about love, she had never asked for it but it just came to her like an unexpected package. Truly, love changes everything. It moves in mysterious ways and no matter who you are, you’ll come to realize that someone is made to love just the way you are.