Bakit hindi ako crush ng crush ko?

As I pondered upon the above mentioned line, it inflicted pain for me realizing that I can't always get what I want. The fear of not being loved in return, that's what I'm afraid of. Huhu:'(( It's not that I'm over reacting but the bitter reality struck me at the very least. Just like in this scenario where there's this someone I like but that 'until here' feeling arouses whenever my ignited spirit imagines the odd things of me and him far from happening.

HIm. haha..I don't know his name but.....secret! shhh!!

So I should beat around the bush, what I want to relay guys is this feeling of having a crush but the question is, does this crush have the same feeling as mine? Will the love be reciprocated with his or will there be only one-sided love aside? These underlying questions have been fluttering inside me when all I can do is suppress all of these feelings from revealing. 

So crush, what about it?.Does it make sense in our lives? Is there a big deal? Yeah, I guess so because for me, a crush is not just about getting attracted by his looks, charisma or charm but someone that you admire and will serve as an inspiration (aside from your family and friends). He's one of your reasons why you do a lot of effort on something to be noticed. It is in him your ideals about love bloom because of the wildest imaginations the our minds can produce. Char!

To be honest, I have lots of crushes! I feel kilig whenever I see their pictures in my tab. My heart throbs as I saw their deep mysterious smiles and I melt with joy for the fancies of me and him singing songs together full of zeal. I got a crush on celebrities like Ian Somerhalder, Jericho Rosales and Ignacio Reyes to name a few:)) In school, I got crushes too but some of them died out. Haha.. It depends on how frequent I see the person or how related is he to my friends. So it's mostly I got a crush to a classmate. Haha but that was before.

What happened today urged me to write this article:)) WOW! This day is so amazing and at the same time unexpected to think that I already have a pic of me and my crush Yokohama-san together:)) Special thanks to my classmates especially Queenie for making the picture taking possible. I didn't expect it.I just can't stop smiling seeing his face, his eyes! WAAAH! He's so cute:)) so sad he has his girl already:(( but then again that's OK. As long as I don't see them together, that would be fine. That will make my day complete and he will inspire me more and more. HAHAHA..

Since we are in this world endowed with limitless imaginations, expectations will never be out of place. Our feelings might grow and chances are we might assume that the person we fall in love to might have the same feelings but just can't tell us straightway. We tend to hope that maybe there's a way that we and that person might end up together. Whew! How I wish!

But as I look myself in a mirror, realities come to slap me on the face. I'm not beautiful, I'm not sexy, I'm unattractive...those negative remarks of myself pushed me to wake up and stop dreaming. Then suddenly, I came to realize that no one would get attracted by me and certainly not the likes of him because he probably has his own standards. Ouch! That he would rather prefer sexy, pretty and attractive women than me:'(

I know that this problem does not only concern me as this is considered a slice of everyone's lives. A part of our life where feelings overflow because our admiration on someone, secretly. A crush will be a crush and the possibility of being together will be there. But, let not our hearts be hardened.... coz Love will come in a right place and in a right time. It falls into place and is patient. If we will just wait and see:)) 

So if somebody will ask me, 'Bakit hindi ka crush ng crush mo?'..I'll simply answer it in a song:

From Aiza Seguerra's Pagdating ng Panahon....HAHA

♪♫♪.....Di pa siguro bukas

Di pa rin ngayon

Malay mo balang araw

Dumating din iyon

Pagdating ng panahon 

Baka ikaw rin at ako 

Baka tibok ng puso ko'y 

Maging tibok ng puso mo...♪♫♪

Falling in love with crush,

Cindy♥♥♥